My past interactions with woman have varied through the years. In Junior High School I was very popular with the young ladies. In High School, I had a couple different girlfriends, but was largely uninterested. As many of you know, my college years were very transformational for me. During this time, for a period of seven years, I did not have a single “girlfriend!” At best I had four or five dates. This “drought” had a lot to do with choice and circumstance. However, it also had a little to do with social anxiety and insecurity.

Through childhood and much of young adulthood, I found very few females attractive. Even so, most of the time I had little trouble finding a “girlfriend.” Ironically, none of my relationships lasted a long period of time. I had a total of three relationships that lasted approximately three months in duration. Some would say this is a pathetic track record; I would not entirely disagree. Frankly, I don’t know what to make of it. That said, I cannot be sure I was to blame. The young woman I was seeing had their issues. And it’s fair to say that I had mine. After enough “failures” it’s hard to think something is fundamentally wrong with oneself.

Lately, however, I have been optimistic. I believe something has changed within me – something very positive. This is what has prompted me to post some thoughts on this topic. As I mentioned, since a young age there was a relatively small percentage of the female population I found attractive. There was also a period of time where I found nearly all Caucasian females less desirable. My tastes have often been a mystery to myself and others. But I can honestly say that within the last several months, I find most woman beautiful, and in a very pure way. Indeed, for a long period of time, I have not had great struggles with lust. Yes, I have God to thank this tremendous grace and mercy.

So what is my point in all this? Honestly, I don’t know. Perhaps it’s just an observation. Without question, I’m focused on a potential calling to the priesthood and do not have an intense desire for female companionship. And yet, I find that most woman are very attractive, physically, mentally, and otherwise. I see a real beauty that I have not been able to appreciate in the past. And though I don’t know where the Lord is calling me, I do know that no matter where I’m led, I am called to have healthy and pure interactions with the opposite sex. Hopefully the days of lust, anxiety, or even indifference concerning female relationships is officially in the past.

Whatever happens, I have confidence that I am in a better place. Surely I will face temptations and difficulties, but I believe that God has blessed me with new insight, love, and pure interest in the splendor of womanhood. Hopefully this gift will enable me to serve in all the right ways, as I keep my focus on the one who loves me more than any human ever could.

Okay, okay…   Once in a while I can be a flirt. Lord please protect me from myself…